Dear Parents,
Recently I have seen many examples of parents struggling so hard to “make” their children happy.  This prompted me to bring out a blog I wrote early in the school year.   If you fall prey to the idea that your most important job is to make kids happy, please read on.  If you sometimes are more ready to be your children’s friend than a parent, read on. 
Would you believe there is a concept so universally accepted that Biblical scholars and secular psychologist agree upon it? Even more amazing is the fact that we all tend to ignore it. The concept is that striving for happiness creates unhappiness.
You can find this referenced in Scripture as frequently as in Psychology Today. Still, we all arrogantly think that we can create happiness. Not only that, we think we can create happiness in others. As parents, we try to “make our children happy“, even though we cognitively know it’s impossible.  It’s a part of our human need to be in control.
We overload them with great experiences.  We give them whatever they want. We treat them to things they don’t even want – all in the name of making them happy.
We get so busy that we don’t stop for those teachable moments.  Take time to ask about how someone else felt.  Take time to help them learn to pick up after themselves.  Take time to listen to their stories no matter how trivial they may seem.  Take time to work together helping another person.  Be completely honest yourself.
They will be happier doing the right things than they will striving for happiness. Teach and model for them good character – honesty, self-discipline, polite manners, generosity, empathy, and they will have a far more enjoyable life than the selfish pursuit of happiness.
Resolve to pursue the teaching of goodness.
Blessings on your parenting,
Tim Miesner
Principal

Dear Parents,
Last year, the Harris Poll surveyed parents in the United States about the emotion most closely describing their feelings toward children. Far and away, the word used most often was concern. While there are some good things about this, there are also some dangers.
When we are concerned, we tend to ignore the things we can control (things that are our responsibility), and instead focus on things that are out of our control. We may rush to the defense of our child who is called an inappropriate name by another child. We may even throw in the word “bullying” for emphasis. But we can’t control that other child. Who is going to rush to the defense of our child who is allowed three hours of mindless screen time per day? That’s something we actually can control. Where is the “concern” for that?  
Our priorities may be distorted when we become concerned. My daughter has a close friend who is a pediatrician. This young pediatrician was telling me about how many of her patients will not allow their child to be immunized. They don't want anything unnatural in their child's body. Yet many of the same parents are willing to put heavy metals under their skin in the form of tattoos. There is a priority that is definitely out of whack.
So what concerns you? Do you have control over it? If so, what action can you take? If you don’t have control over it, then praying is the best action to take.  Jesus tells us, “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these other things will be added to it” Matthew 6:33.
As we move into the new year, resolve to turn things over in prayer to the Lord.  Act on what you can control, and pray about what you can’t control.
Blessings on your parenting,
Tim Miesner
Principal

Dear Parents,
Do you have a hard time determining what to give your children for Christmas? You are not alone. People tell me it’s getting harder every year. I recall being very impressed with my little toy truck, when I was a youngster. Not so much today. The affluence around us causes our children to expect increasingly greater material gifts. It’s time to go retro.
Try things that involve time, not money. Do things together. It may be hard at first, because we’re not used to it. Play some “old fashioned” games like Monopoly or Chutes and Ladders. What about cards?  Who does that anymore? It can be very educational, and the participants actually look at each other. Think of something to build together. Literally, the sky is the limit. The point is that you are spending time rather than money. You may have to think about this and use your creativity, but give it a try.  This Christmas, I am planning to give the gift of time.
Don’t get involved in the competition of who can give the most amazing gift. That’s already been done. God has given us the gift of his Son, and we can never top that. Take time to worship and thank him for that gift of eternal life through Jesus.
Have a blessed Christmas,
Tim Miesner
Principal

Dear Parents,
​
A recent study by Northeastern University in Boston attempted to determine how schools and parents could close the gap between what is expected by state testing and what’s expected by future employers. So what are the skills expected by employers?  In the 2016 study referenced here, 80% of employers responding are looking for leadership skills. The second highest skill, at 79%, is that of communication.

I believe one of the benefits of having students in small classes is that they can experience leadership opportunities in a safe environment. Students have the opportunity to communicate with peers as they present reports and projects. It’s also why we emphasize writing so heavily -- to ensure students have a solid grasp on written communication.

At home you can ask your child why or how they are doing something. Give them the time to explain it completely, allowing them time to revise their sentences as needed. It’s valuable to do this both orally and in written form. Encourage them to write notes of thanks or apology (even to siblings), a diary, or a journal. As older children learn a skill, give them the opportunity to teach that skill to younger children. At school we reinforce these skills by partnering older students with younger students as reading buddies, but you can do the same at home.

We are all leaders in some area of our life and need to be prepared for that. As parents, you are leaders of your children. God has placed you in this position, and hopefully your children will someday be parent/leaders as well.

Blessings on your parenting,
Tim Miesner
Principal

Dear Parents,
I am sure many of you have made a list of things for which you are thankful. I’d like to briefly share some of mine below.
Number one on the list is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I do my best every day, but even that falls short all too often.  I am very thankful for His grace, mercy, and forgiveness.
I am thankful for supportive parents. Because of your close involvement in your child’s life, we have the opportunity to partner in raising your children. That’s a privilege. It’s one of the things that makes our school community special.
I am very thankful for teachers who give of their time and frankly work for a lower salary than they could get other places. God has blessed us richly with a staff that is dedicated to ministry with children and their families.
I am thankful for Epiphany Lutheran Church and the support given to the school through the use of space, provision for utilities and insurance, and even financial support.
I am thankful for this country in which we can worship God without fear of violent persecution.
I’m thankful for a wonderful family including my wife, three children, their spouses, and six grandchildren. God has richly blessed us.
I know that you are thankful for your family is well. I hope this next week will be a time during which you can celebrate that thankfulness and enjoy their company.
In His Service,
Tim Miesner
Principal

Dear Parents,
Today I am writing to you about fears that are on the increase in upcoming generations. You may already recognize some of these in your children.
The first one is FOMO, fear of missing out. In today’s social media world, you can see photos of your friends online doing fun things. It’s logical to assume that you are missing out on something. Your children may see their friends doing things and wonder why they were not included.  They may ask you why your family “never” does anything fun. The fear is real, although it’s obvious they can’t possibly be involved in everything they see online. They’re going to miss out on something. What can you do? Help them understand that you can’t do everything. You must make choices. You must set priorities. Those priorities should be in accordance with your values. As always, we adults can model appropriate behavior as well
The second fear is known as FOBO, fear of being off-line. Even adults are known to experience this when they become disconnected, lose Wi-Fi, or out of range. A recent study of teens in 13 countries across five continents showed 70% of them expressed this fear. We need to help our children understand the human need for silence. Occasionally the body has to re-group, and that happens when the sensory overload diminishes.
The third fear is FOMU, fear of messing up. Again, in today’s social media world our mistakes are broadcast with video. There are even websites dedicated entirely to epic failures. This causes our children stress. In today’s economy there are so many opportunities for those with an entrepreneurial spirit, but how can students take chances when they are so concerned about messing up? Help your children understand the risks versus rewards of any venture. Help them understand and appreciate the input of a few trusted individuals instead of the whole society they see on any social network.
Again, the key to all of this is to model appropriate behavior and talk with our children about the way to make good decisions. When your children do “mess up”, use this as an opportunity to discuss the fact that humans are not perfect. Only God is perfect. Remind them how valuable they are to you and to our loving God. He sent His own Son to suffer on our behalf.  That’s real love, and we should all feel valued.  
Blessings on your parenting,


Tim Miesner
Principal

 Dear Parents,
As parents and educators two questions often arise. Whose fault is this? Whose responsibility is this? The late Dr. Scott Peck, psychiatrist and author, said people tend to gravitate toward one of two directions when something goes wrong. Either they blame themselves for everything (neurosis), or they seek someone else to blame (character disorder).  Neither of these is healthy, yet they happen frequently.
How many times have we heard politicians say something like “Mistakes were made”? Really? Were made (passive verb)? Is nobody taking responsibility? Rather than trying to figure out who’s at fault, be the one who comes up with a solution. Take responsibility, be a problem solver, and your children will learn to do the same.
Recently, at the end of our early morning care as I was about to dismiss the children, I noticed some toys had not been put away. I stopped all the children and asked who was playing with them. Turns out a young child, no longer in the room, was at fault. Immediately, an older student volunteered to pick up the toys and put them away for him. She stepped up and took responsibility for something that was not her fault.  It’s no wonder every other student in her class likes her and respects her so much. That’s what we want to see in our children. That’s character.
It doesn’t happen naturally. It’s modeled and taught by the significant adults in our children’s lives. Let’s join in teaching our children to take responsibility even with things that are not their fault.
In His Service,
Tim Miesner
Principal




 Dear Parents,
As parents and educators two questions often arise. Whose fault is this? Whose responsibility is this? The late Dr. Scott Peck, psychiatrist and author, said people tend to gravitate toward one of two directions when something goes wrong. Either they blame themselves for everything (neurosis), or they seek someone else to blame (character disorder).  Neither of these is healthy, yet they happen frequently.
How many times have we heard politicians say something like “Mistakes were made”? Really? Were made (passive verb)? Is nobody taking responsibility? Rather than trying to figure out who’s at fault, be the one who comes up with a solution. Take responsibility, be a problem solver, and your children will learn to do the same.
Recently, at the end of our early morning care as I was about to dismiss the children, I noticed some toys had not been put away. I stopped all the children and asked who was playing with them. Turns out a young child, no longer in the room, was at fault. Immediately, an older student volunteered to pick up the toys and put them away for him. She stepped up and took responsibility for something that was not her fault.  It’s no wonder every other student in her class likes her and respects her so much. That’s what we want to see in our children. That’s character.
It doesn’t happen naturally. It’s modeled and taught by the significant adults in our children’s lives. Let’s join in teaching our children to take responsibility even with things that are not their fault.
In His Service,
Tim Miesner
Principal

Dear Parents,
I know all of you want to do what you can to help your child learn and help your child's teacher teach them well. Below I have listed some things that will be beneficial. As you know a well-behaved classroom requires less teacher time for management. As a result, this classroom has more instruction time, and by the end of the school year may receive the equivalent of several extra weeks of school.
To help make our classrooms more orderly we depend upon our parent partners for support. What you teach your children at home is very important in determining how much they, and their classmates, can learn at school. Below are some examples.
Don't give warnings. I have seen so many parents give multiple warnings, when a child should really know to obey the first time. When I hear a parent say something like "this time I really mean it" I know we’re in trouble.
Teach your child to wait for his or her turn to talk. Our whole society has a problem with this, but I believe it still can be done. It will take time and determination.  Be sure to model it for them.
Teach your child to say “yes sir” and “no ma’am”, “please” and “thank you”, “excuse me” and in general to be polite. These social skills will take your child a long way in school, in an interview, and in a job. This is exactly the opposite of the direction our culture is going right now. Unfortunately, the examples students see on social media show people denigrating one another publicly.
Teach your child to share, which is much harder in today's world with smaller families. I had to share one bathroom with nine others in my family growing up, but most of our children now have one or no siblings with whom to practice sharing. Set up experiences with other children to practice this skill.
All these things will help your child’s teacher to teach the class and enable your child to be a better employee in the future. More jobs than ever are now cooperative and collaborative. People skills are just as important as job skills.
Ask yourself these questions. Does my child ignore my requests?  Does my child refuse to do something I’ve asked him or her to do? Do I find myself negotiating with my child? Is my child disrespectful in their words, actions, or facial expressions?  If the answer to any of these is yes, we have work to do. These are the actions that make life more difficult for your child’s teacher and fellow classmates.
Please don’t misunderstand. I love giving children choices, but some things are nonnegotiable. Among these are respect, reverence, and honesty. If you find yourself having difficulty with any of the above, please contact me. I would be pleased to help.
In His Service,
Tim Miesner
Principal