high arrogance, low self-esteem

Dear parents,

You may not have heard the term before, but therapists are beginning to diagnose kids with the condition of high arrogance, low self-esteem.  Even if you've never heard the term before, you can imagine how it looks. You probably know people who fit this category. 


How did we get to this point as a society?  We wanted to promote self-esteem in our children.  We began to complement them for anything and everything.   Instead of telling our kids we love them we told them they were the best cowboy in the world.  Even a very young cowboy begins to suspect that he may not be the best one in the world.  After all he knows nothing about roping or branding.  And very soon he begins to realize that he has not been told the complete truth.  At that point we have a little cowboy who acts like he's the best in the world but deep down has serious self-doubt.  We have created high arrogance, low self-esteem.  The obvious antidote is a healthy helping of positive truth.  Please understand, I'm not advocating being critical, but I am advocating telling the truth.


Dr. Tim Elmore suggests six ways we can combat high arrogance, low self-esteem as we raise our children.  Here are six things we can foster in our kids.


Know yourself.  What are your strengths and weaknesses?  Be honest about that.  I'm glad my parents did not encourage me to go on American Idol.  Of course we didn't even have a television back then.


Develop your gift.  We all have gifts and can use them to overcome our weaknesses.  Be honest about weaknesses, but don't lament them.  Learn to overcome them with your strengths.


Find your passion.  What really gets you excited?  If you can go to school for that thing and get a job doing that thing, you will have great joy in life.


Value people.  People are not a means to an end, they are the end.  Our greatest joys come through helping others and living a life that goes beyond ourselves.


Learn perseverance.  Things happen so quickly today, and we can do so much with so little, that we are easily frustrated.  Perseverance is one of the biggest indictors of success.


Pursue excellence.  Of course you cannot be excellent in everything, but pick something.  Pursue that thing (preferably one in which you have a strength and passion) and try to become really good at it.


Parents, we need to talk to our children about these things.  Begin at young age.  Continue it with gentle persistence.  Unless we're really obnoxious, they will eventually listen.


Blessings on your parenting,

Tim Miesner